IN WHICH The Girl Goes Country

What a year? I think we'd all agree that 2016 has been a crazy roller coaster. While I've certainly been feeling those bumps along with the rest of America, I've also had quite a few changes in my personal and professional life in the last six months.

Last I wrote, way back in the spring, I was trying to catch my own heffalump of a college teaching position. Well that heffalump has been located, caught, and successfully trussed up with a bow! Does that sentence even make sense? It's finals week, so I'm down to about two working brain cells. In other words, I am now a tenure-track college professor. Yippie!

It's been quite the stretch of highs and lows. I spent all spring applying and interviewing for jobs across the country, swinging from hope to disappointment again and again. But then it happened! Someone wanted to pay me a real salary! With benefits! I was starting to think I'd be an adjunct forever. But getting my dream job also meant moving from bustling Chicago to a small town of about 12,000 halfway across the country. All the feels.

Come summer, I moved to the boondocks: a cute but very small midwestern town with lots of antique stores and no Starbucks. Yes, there are apparently places in the world without Starbucks. It's been an adjustment. It's possible I may have received an inaccurate picture of small town life from Gilmore Girls (did everyone watch the revival?) and Hallmark Christmas movies. It doesn't seem to be quite as quirky as I imagined and no cowboy has come to my rescue yet. Nevertheless, the portrayal of Christmas spirit seems on point. The main street, actually called Main Street, is adorably lit up and decorated. Plus, there's a big lighting display in the park that you can ride a horse and carriage through on the weekends. In the Hallmark movie, this is the time when I would accidentally trip while trying to step into the carriage and a strapping country boy would catch me and fall in love with me instantaneously.

As of yet, no Knitathon in Stars Hollow Style

But lest you think I've been wallowing in loneliness, the mad rush of new classes and students has kept me busy straight through to today. I'm very smart and decided that on top of learning all the intricacies of teaching new classes at a new school, I would also overload my schedule. When given the choice between a little more money and sanity, choose sanity.

In the midst of all this change, there's been little time or energy for writing. I have been reading though, and I'm actually closer to my Goodreads goal than I predicted. My reading has also reflected the chaos in that I've mainly only read light and fluffy books because I can't handle anything too dark and serious at the moment. If 2015 was the year of the young adult fantasy, 2016 was the year of the contemporary romance, both adult and young adult. Once finals are over, I'll post my favorites from the year.

Now, let me turn in this "What did you do this summer?" essay to my teacher... Heffa nice day!

IN WHICH The Girl Hunts Heffalumps

Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet imagine Heffalumps several times and even try to catch one, but to no avail. They never even see one. I've been trying to catch my own Heffalump - otherwise known as a real full-time tenure-track teaching gig with salary and benefits and all those adult things - recently. These jobs may just be imaginary as well. I've been in an applying frenzy for the last few months; hence, my blogging hiatus. 

I'm still on the hunt, but I just wanted to say "Hi" and that I'll return soon with new and booknerdy things to say. Feminist ideas about my recent Classic Club Women's Literature Event reads - Anne of Green Gables and Lucy - have been bouncing around in my head for a few weeks now. I particularly want to talk about beauty (woe to the red hair) and education in Anne of Green Gables. I'm in the middle of both We Have Always Lived in the Castle and The Bell Jar right now as well. While I started out the year slowly, I'm on a classics reading roll now, and I'm enjoying this women's lit excursion immensely. 

Young adult-wise, there are also a lot of exciting releases on the horizon about which I will have thoughts. Number one for me is The Raven King because this series gets better and better with each installment, and I can't wait to see where the final book takes Blue and her Raven boys. I recently reread the whole series in preparation. My fangirl heart beats #SaveGansey (NERD!). I'm also looking forward to The Rose and the Dagger, which gets released on the very same day. Can I read them both in one day?  

In the meantime, I'll keep trying to catch a Heffalump!

IN WHICH The Girl Has Dolla Dolla Bling

Whenever the lottery reward reaches record heights, many people get swept up in the dream of suddenly rolling in the big money. I'm generally not a lottery player, but even I felt that need to put my two dollars in for a Powerball ticket. Unfortunately, I didn't get even one number right. At least give me the four dollar prize guys!

In the time leading up to the drawing, I did have a chance to play out multiple fantasies of wealth. Life with more than $10 in my bank account! Paying off those ungodly student loans! Food! A beautiful condo with a view! And books... books... books...

As a literary lover, I came up with several awesome things I could do with my millions. If you did happen to win the jackpot, here are some ideas:

Buy Things

Of course, now that I no longer need to worry about money, I can stop waiting on hold for the most popular books from the library. I can just buy them right away! What? That's crazy. I think I look at the library website every day to see if they have the new releases in yet. Yes, I know that I have a bazillion other books to read, but I want the pretty, new things. Plus, now that I won't need to work for a living, I will have all the time in the world to read all the books in the world.

But these are small potatoes. Why think about ten dollar books when you can think about ten thousand dollar books? Now is the time to start collecting rare books. For example, I could get a special first edition copy of Winnie-the-Pooh on Japanese vellum, signed by both the author and the illustrator for $51,941. 

Flickr/British Library

I'm a billionaire now - let's ignore the realities of taxes - so I can also try to get my hands on the most expensive books out there. Forbes list of the most expensive books ever sold lists the Codex Leicester of Leonardo da Vinci at $49.4 million and Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies (1623), The First Folio by William Shakespeare at $8.2 million. Want to sell me that Codex, Mr. Gates?

Where shall I sit while reading Shakespeare's first folio? Why in Pemberley of course! For a mere $12.5 million - less than that Codex you might note - I can purchase Wentworth Woodhouse, which may have inspired Jane Austen's version of Pemberley in Pride and Prejudice and is currently for sale. I've already started auctioning off the 300 rooms to friends. I'm generous. 

Wentworth Woodhouse                Flickr/Allan Harris

For my additional homes across the world, there are several houses associated with famous authors that I could purchase. How about this lovely $35 million estate in California that once belonged to Thomas Mann and was in Scarface. Here's a list of additional literary housing options as well.

Visit Things

Real Gabinete Português de Leitura   Flickr/Mathieu Bertrand Struck

Now that I am comfortably settled in my Austen-style mansion filled with books, I can start traveling. There are hundreds of literary destinations. I could take a world library tour, for instance, including the Liyuan Library in Beijing, China, which apparently is built with timber to blend into the forest and sits on a lake, and the Real Gabinete Português de Leitura in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil that is just darn beautiful. 

Liyuan Library Outside         Flickr/LiXiaodong Atelier

Liyuan Library Inside         Flickr/LiXiaodong Atelier

Or I could travel around to the literary museums. Did you know that there is Shrine of the Book in Jerusalem where you can view the Dead Sea Scrolls? Bustle has put together a list of several more. From here I also learned that The American Writer's Museum will be opening up in Chicago next year! Yay!

Shrine of the Book                         Flickr/Christyn

After all this museum and library hopping, I will probably want to sit back and take in a good play. I could then attend some of the greatest theaters in the world. There's of course the Globe Theater in England, but also the National Noh Theatre in Tokyo that is made out of cypress trees, the Minack Theatre that sits on a cliff in Cornwall, and the Palais Garnier in Paris where The Phantom of the Opera was set.

Palais Garnier                                 Flickr/Jonathan

Learn Things

In between my jet-setting, I might actually want to take some literature classes. Don't scoff! Learning is fun (says the teacher). With my winnings, I can pay off all my student loans and get as many degrees as I want - from as many schools that will accept me at least. I'd still love to get my Ph.D. Even if I don't want to get a full degree, however, I can now afford to take a random class here or there. I could even take one while traveling. Did you know Harvard has an online extension school? I could take American Dreams from Scarface to Easy Rider or Masterpieces of World Literature for $2,400, though it's unclear whether that is for the whole course or per graduate credit. By the way, they also have a bunch of free courses of which anyone can take advantage.

That was a nice trip through fantasy land. Well, these might not happen at this point, but life goals! Since I do still need to make a living, I suppose I should get working on those syllabi then.

What would you do with a jackpot win?

IN WHICH The Girl Spells L-O-V-E

On this day dedicated to love, Winnie-the-Pooh really is the master. Here are some of the best quotes from A.A. Milne about friendship and love:

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

 

"Pooh?" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

 "We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet. "Even longer," Pooh answered.

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.

 I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.

"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh. "I wish I were there doing it, too."

It's so much more friendly with two.

"Oh, Bear!" said Christopher Robin. "How I do love you!" "So do I," said Pooh.

 There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.

 "Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

"How do you spell 'love'?" "You don't spell it... you feel it."

IN WHICH We Are Introduced

Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne

A.A. Milne starts his story collection, Winnie-the-Pooh, off with a dedication reading:

Hand in hand we come

      Christopher Robin and I

To lay this book in your lap.

          Say you're surprised?

          Say you like it?

          Say it's just what you wanted?

               Because it's yours - 

               Because we love you.

So here I am - not the wordsmith A.A. Milne or even the delightful, knowledgeable Christopher Robin - but the Winnie-the-Pooh of this blog. I present my lines to you, nonetheless, and I hope of all hopes that you like them.

Why the Winnie-the-Pooh theme? How old are you anyways? Good questions. I was at my childhood home last Christmas, because, at least in years, I am considered an adult now, and I found a very old hardback copy of Winnie-the-Pooh hiding on a bookshelf. While I have always loved Winnie-the-Pooh, it had been quite some time since I had sat down and read the stories. I was delighted again by the rambling adventures of a naive but inquisitive "bear of little brain." Pooh constantly investigates the world around him. He searches out the source of honey, he hunts down mysterious Woozles and Heffalumps, and even tries to find the North Pole. Despite his best efforts, his adventures are usually undermined by his own actions, often his desire for food, which I can understand. Pooh, however, never gets upset about his own shortcomings, often acknowledging his lack of brains, and continues along his merry way. He joyfully travels about the Hundred Acre Wood singing songs, making up poems, and meeting up with his ragtag group of friends. 

Side note: If you've never read the Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff, I highly recommend you check out his description of Winnie-the-Pooh as the exemplary Western Taoist who is in tune with nature and just goes with the flow of life.

Well that sounds wonderful, but what does it have to do with this blog? As you can see, just like Pooh, I get a little off track sometimes. While reading, I started to identify with the little bear. Like him, my head is often in the clouds, I get excited by ridiculous things, I love poetry, I often lack common sense, and I tend to take life in stride without getting too stressed. 

Therefore, in the manner of A.A. Milne, I plan to share my adventures of the mind with you. These adventures will mainly consist of mutterings about stories of all kinds, both written and filmed; I'm an English teacher after all. However, don't be surprised if I meander off topic. Sometimes when you plan to go to Piglet's house, you end up at the bee tree. 

Say it's just what you wanted?